I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
