I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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