Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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