ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
