i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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