dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
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eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
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I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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