The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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