Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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