My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.