she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
