that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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