she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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