the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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