just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
