i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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