you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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