so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
