you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
