I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
