Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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