You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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