also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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