thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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