just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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