Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
did i just pee glitter
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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