if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize