He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
