why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
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the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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