i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
