Don't you send me to vm
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
