5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Randomize
