It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
pop tarts are not kleenex
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
