she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize