Having a random hookup so left but love u
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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