I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize