Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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