people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
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Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
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You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize