I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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