Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
