Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
