you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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