I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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