In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
