So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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