i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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