I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
