Having a random hookup so left but love u
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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