I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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