Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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