WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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