sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
