he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
