I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
