yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
