you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Found the puke drawer
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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